Day 2 started out well. We departed at about 10:15am and headed umm... I don't know what direction, i'm going to guess north. Anywho- we did Gates Pass today. I was shocked as to how easy my legs felt- the first few poppers def. let me know I had worked yesterday and hadn't been on my bike in a while but being in the midst of a group I was able to sustain over them w/o letting my HR jack too high.
Here are my totals and then I will describe the wreck- but must keep it short as I am tired.
today's Distance: 70.79 miles
Week Total Distance: approx. 151 miles
Time: 3 hours, 58 minutes
Week Total Time: approx. 8 hours, 30 minutes
Today's Calories: 3501
Today's Average HR: 137
Okay now onto the good stuff. We headed up over Gates Pass, which split the crew up a bit. It was a good few mile popper that def. made me work. D hung by to teach me some tactics as to how to get up the hill and keep my heart rate down. Got up the hill and headed down a short but steep decent. Which was fun but again could tell its been several months since I have been on my bike and even more several months since I have decended. Anyway- about an hour and a half later is when it got spiced up again. We were on a long, straight, long, straight, flat, long, straight road--- get the point-- and D and I were hanging on the back after we lead a few short minutes to pull the groups back together.. Now it happened so fast in slow mo, i know oxymoron but just wait, that I'm not sure i'll recall the exact details but.. now I know what it is like falling off my road bike and hitting the pavement at umm.. 18-21mph. So we were in a nice little grove, D and i were chatting it up and I guess I was feeling rather comfy. I was sitting up with my hands on the top of the bars, bent down with my right to grab my water bottle and out of the corner of my eye noticed the guy in front of me tire was getting really close, and he wasn't going backward, that meant one thing... I was moving faster than the group ahead of me and didn't have a single hand on the break. I sat up as quickly as I could and attempted to hit the break BUT my hand missed grabbed the top of the break and the rest happened in slow mo. I saw my tire just miss his tire, but overlap, then watched as my tire connected with his derailer.. from there, all I know is that I flew in the air, hit the pavement, and heard Daniel yell "babe." I sat up, wiped myself off and noticed blood was literally running off my body-- it didn't phase me much but soon, I saw the van stop and two people get out (no big deal-they are our support) then I saw two riders turn around and come back, as I looked up (the downside to wearing my contacts) I could see the entire group stop ahead at a stop sign and look back. UGH. I told the crew- I'm fine keep riding, so luckily the two others headed back to the group and got them going. I was left with a scene of 3- this I could handle.. we wiped me off, put some numbing cream on my arm and hand and headed back out to complete the 20 miles..
20 miles later back in the hotel.. I checked out my arm and those are the pictures to come.. You could see lots of tissue (seemed like hanging out). My leg is scuffed like a turf burn.. all in all, i'm okay, it doesn't hurt that bad and NOTHING is broken.. cleaned it out, showered, got dressed and headed out to dinner at a fun Japanese Restaurant..
hang on for the stories to come- 3 more days of long riding and hopefully I have NO more stories such as this one.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Day 1- Tucson, AZ
Day #1: Tucson Base Training Camp...
so I claimed that i would start to make this a training blog, well I think this is the third time i've claimed to make it that, nonetheless back to the point... you'll notice it is lacking some training logs. It is virtually impossible for me to blog everyday....and I guess most importantly, my training hasn't happened every single day. BUT......that will change this week.
Daniel and I spent 13 hours in the car driving to Tucson, AZ. I must add the drive through NM was long and boring.. Man, it was almost like KS, the exception was mtns. off in the distance otherwise, flat and brown for HOURS. We'll be doing this again on Friday. As soon as we hit AZ the traffic picked up a bit- but not bad, and the scenery became a bit more lively. I'm not a fan of the desert but Tucson is actually very pretty. A lil to brown for me, but surrounded by mtns. which leaves for a beautiful backdrop, sunrise, and sunset. Not to mention the 60-70 degrees weather with sunshine is a nice boost.
so onto day 1- 80 mile out and back ride to Mammoth, AZ.
I was completely nervous this morning as I haven't been on my bike in AGES. I truly mean AGES. I had a few bad runs on it the end of this summer and well.... got cranky. I felt like I wasn't making any gains so I just hung it up. With the half marathon in San Fran in October, it was early September (first weekend) when I decided to hang my bikes up for a few months. Well a few months turned into December 29th! yikes, that is almost four months. I have to be honest and admit- I jumped on my trainer one day about a week and a half ago for a matter of 60 minutes, and have done three spin classes throughout the entire fall.... Thats it. j
so... of course this morning, I was cranky. I was riding with a bunch of guys and females that ride their bikes regularly, put in long miles, have put in years, and... pretty much only ride.... Not to mention there was about 20 people, and i've only every ridden in a group twice. so i was set for a disasterous, disappointing day.
Luckly, the new garmin D got me for a Christmas did me wonders. I headed to breakfast, to the hour lecture, then back in the room to prep and get dressed. As i strapped the heartrate monitor around my ribs I thought..."what have i gotten myself into?" and I was very short with D. I haven't been that nervous in a long time. My goal was to get at least 50 miles in and keep my HR around 70% of my max. (yes, something I learned from the lecture this am).
plugged in and ready, I hit the pavement with about 19 other riders, this morning at 10am... returning 4 hours and 30 minutes, or 80 miles later! I was shocked I did the entire ride and wasn't feeling too awful bad. In the middle of the climb of the ride was a 12 mile climb. I started up the climb with the guys and one other gal. I quickly popped out "the back" of the group and was on my own... I decided to settle in at the slowest pace I could to make it up the hill, keeping my HR slightly above where it should be: 165-177. I decided this was the best I was going to do so for about 12 miles my HR sat a bit higher than 70% like I was adviced. Soon another guy caught up with me, we rode together for most of the climb. Then he decided to attempt to catch the group ahead. Without the group behind or the group ahead in sight, I was riding again on my own. I kept him and another female rider that had dropped out of the group within eye shot. Towards the top of the climb I got them within 300yds or so... I thought I would catch them but was also trying to be good and keep my HR where it should be. So needless to say, I didn't catch them. They disappeared out of sight at about mile 60ish or so.. then i looked behind me and I caught a glimpse of a rider--damn I didn't want to get caught but I also was tired for riding alone on a busy road... they caught me (a guy and a girl) at mile 68 and we rode the last 12 miles into town together. It was actually nice to be able to chat with someone again, as opposed to riding along a busy highway with weird wind by myself. I was surprised how well I felt today.
My garmin registered 4:35 for time, 79.82 miles, 3864 calories, and an average HR of 149. Not to shabby for my first day out in almost 4 months.
D and I then got cleaned, stretched, and headed out for Trader Joe's to buy some good healthy food instead of having to eat the fried potatoes, mushy waffles, and other food filled wtih high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils that the hotel is providing. My stomach just can't seem to handle that stuff anymore! in the midst of our grocery shopping experience I got a call from a long time very dear friend from middle school, Heath, she is engaged! I'm so excited for her I can hardly stand it. She asked me to be one of her bridesmaids and i'm so honored!!!! then D and I grabbed a bit to eat at Saffron- an Indian restaurant. it was yummy... I'm not going to say what i've done since then because it hasn't been much... i'm embarrassed to admit i've laid around all evening in the hotel room, rather than out site-seeing a new city.... oh well what can you do! If anything, i should have been working on the mounds of work I brought with me for Jan. 5th.. yikes again. it has been so nice however not having to worry about work for almost 2 weeks now!
Tomorrow is a 100 mile ride, i'm planning on attempting to put in 75--- so more to come on how may legs will feel after I wake in the morning!
so I claimed that i would start to make this a training blog, well I think this is the third time i've claimed to make it that, nonetheless back to the point... you'll notice it is lacking some training logs. It is virtually impossible for me to blog everyday....and I guess most importantly, my training hasn't happened every single day. BUT......that will change this week.
Daniel and I spent 13 hours in the car driving to Tucson, AZ. I must add the drive through NM was long and boring.. Man, it was almost like KS, the exception was mtns. off in the distance otherwise, flat and brown for HOURS. We'll be doing this again on Friday. As soon as we hit AZ the traffic picked up a bit- but not bad, and the scenery became a bit more lively. I'm not a fan of the desert but Tucson is actually very pretty. A lil to brown for me, but surrounded by mtns. which leaves for a beautiful backdrop, sunrise, and sunset. Not to mention the 60-70 degrees weather with sunshine is a nice boost.
so onto day 1- 80 mile out and back ride to Mammoth, AZ.
I was completely nervous this morning as I haven't been on my bike in AGES. I truly mean AGES. I had a few bad runs on it the end of this summer and well.... got cranky. I felt like I wasn't making any gains so I just hung it up. With the half marathon in San Fran in October, it was early September (first weekend) when I decided to hang my bikes up for a few months. Well a few months turned into December 29th! yikes, that is almost four months. I have to be honest and admit- I jumped on my trainer one day about a week and a half ago for a matter of 60 minutes, and have done three spin classes throughout the entire fall.... Thats it. j
so... of course this morning, I was cranky. I was riding with a bunch of guys and females that ride their bikes regularly, put in long miles, have put in years, and... pretty much only ride.... Not to mention there was about 20 people, and i've only every ridden in a group twice. so i was set for a disasterous, disappointing day.
Luckly, the new garmin D got me for a Christmas did me wonders. I headed to breakfast, to the hour lecture, then back in the room to prep and get dressed. As i strapped the heartrate monitor around my ribs I thought..."what have i gotten myself into?" and I was very short with D. I haven't been that nervous in a long time. My goal was to get at least 50 miles in and keep my HR around 70% of my max. (yes, something I learned from the lecture this am).
plugged in and ready, I hit the pavement with about 19 other riders, this morning at 10am... returning 4 hours and 30 minutes, or 80 miles later! I was shocked I did the entire ride and wasn't feeling too awful bad. In the middle of the climb of the ride was a 12 mile climb. I started up the climb with the guys and one other gal. I quickly popped out "the back" of the group and was on my own... I decided to settle in at the slowest pace I could to make it up the hill, keeping my HR slightly above where it should be: 165-177. I decided this was the best I was going to do so for about 12 miles my HR sat a bit higher than 70% like I was adviced. Soon another guy caught up with me, we rode together for most of the climb. Then he decided to attempt to catch the group ahead. Without the group behind or the group ahead in sight, I was riding again on my own. I kept him and another female rider that had dropped out of the group within eye shot. Towards the top of the climb I got them within 300yds or so... I thought I would catch them but was also trying to be good and keep my HR where it should be. So needless to say, I didn't catch them. They disappeared out of sight at about mile 60ish or so.. then i looked behind me and I caught a glimpse of a rider--damn I didn't want to get caught but I also was tired for riding alone on a busy road... they caught me (a guy and a girl) at mile 68 and we rode the last 12 miles into town together. It was actually nice to be able to chat with someone again, as opposed to riding along a busy highway with weird wind by myself. I was surprised how well I felt today.
My garmin registered 4:35 for time, 79.82 miles, 3864 calories, and an average HR of 149. Not to shabby for my first day out in almost 4 months.
D and I then got cleaned, stretched, and headed out for Trader Joe's to buy some good healthy food instead of having to eat the fried potatoes, mushy waffles, and other food filled wtih high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils that the hotel is providing. My stomach just can't seem to handle that stuff anymore! in the midst of our grocery shopping experience I got a call from a long time very dear friend from middle school, Heath, she is engaged! I'm so excited for her I can hardly stand it. She asked me to be one of her bridesmaids and i'm so honored!!!! then D and I grabbed a bit to eat at Saffron- an Indian restaurant. it was yummy... I'm not going to say what i've done since then because it hasn't been much... i'm embarrassed to admit i've laid around all evening in the hotel room, rather than out site-seeing a new city.... oh well what can you do! If anything, i should have been working on the mounds of work I brought with me for Jan. 5th.. yikes again. it has been so nice however not having to worry about work for almost 2 weeks now!
Tomorrow is a 100 mile ride, i'm planning on attempting to put in 75--- so more to come on how may legs will feel after I wake in the morning!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Training Report
Training Log!
I'm hoping this will create some motivation! So I am starting with my goals:
Short-Term:
Goal #1- lose weight and tone up! lose about 8lbs.
Goal #2- Get into a 2 day a week lifting program
Goal #3- 5k race in under 22:00
Long-Term Goal:
Goal #1- enter a cycling race
Goal #2- run a 1/2 marathon in under 1:40
* I know they look lame now but I'll increase them as soon as they get better**
I'm hoping this will create some motivation! So I am starting with my goals:
Short-Term:
Goal #1- lose weight and tone up! lose about 8lbs.
Goal #2- Get into a 2 day a week lifting program
Goal #3- 5k race in under 22:00
Long-Term Goal:
Goal #1- enter a cycling race
Goal #2- run a 1/2 marathon in under 1:40
* I know they look lame now but I'll increase them as soon as they get better**
Wow, it feels like it has been ages since I last posted, but really it doesn't appear to have been. All in all, I haven't had much to report really. My life has consisted of sleep, work, maybe workout, meeting, work, and go to bed. Its been a little better lately, but this week really has just accumulated a messy office and piles everywhere! It is horrible.
Anyway, not much is new with me really. I haven't felt the best lately and we are trying to get to the root of the problem... it has been interesting...
I went dairy free for 7 days- was supposed to 10 days but didn't quite make it. Thanksgiving fell in there and ya know, I lost all control. Then upon return to Colorado, I started to be good again and hung in there wheat, barley, and rye free for about 11 days..bummer didn't make my 15! I'm not sure if any of it has helped or not- I felt that I had more energy when I went wheat free, my asthma seemed a bit better when I went dairy free. So.. I guess that means I'm headed back to my doctor to get the scratch test and check out allergies. I was diagnosed with asthma when I was in high school but literally used my inhaler 2 weeks out of the year, once in the fall when it got cold, and once in the spring when it got warm. Now, it is every time I work out and most days of the week... I don't think that is so great!
What else.... my racing season is technically over- you would have NEVER known I raced less than 2 months ago, as I feel like I don't have much speed and just make it through 5-6 miles. I've got to get motivated again. For some reason my excitement about the bike has diminished has I feel like I get less and less time on it- not to mention it is nearly impossible to get myself motivated to jump on the rollers or trainer.... Anyway, running has been going better. I seem to do well in the morning but the evening is rather difficult for me.. I'm working on that motivation so if anyone has any ideas!
As for my first year of work- I absolutely LOVE Fountain Fort Carson. It is sooo much better than my previous employing district. I feel so supported, and also don't feel the unethical pressure that I did last year. My supervisor is amazing and I am learning oh so much! That doesn't go without stating that the learning curve is tiring and this year has had its challenges. Nonetheless, it is nice to be in a place that I believe in and enjoy going to!
I think that is about it. I'm going to give racing my bike a shot this year and race.. I'm headed to Tucson for a training camp- the average daily mileage is 100 but i, must to my dismay, won't be putting in such miles.... So, I just have to work my way up and get strong again. Okay, I brought a pile of work home to get done so.. I must get moving.
Happy Holidays :)
Anyway, not much is new with me really. I haven't felt the best lately and we are trying to get to the root of the problem... it has been interesting...
I went dairy free for 7 days- was supposed to 10 days but didn't quite make it. Thanksgiving fell in there and ya know, I lost all control. Then upon return to Colorado, I started to be good again and hung in there wheat, barley, and rye free for about 11 days..bummer didn't make my 15! I'm not sure if any of it has helped or not- I felt that I had more energy when I went wheat free, my asthma seemed a bit better when I went dairy free. So.. I guess that means I'm headed back to my doctor to get the scratch test and check out allergies. I was diagnosed with asthma when I was in high school but literally used my inhaler 2 weeks out of the year, once in the fall when it got cold, and once in the spring when it got warm. Now, it is every time I work out and most days of the week... I don't think that is so great!
What else.... my racing season is technically over- you would have NEVER known I raced less than 2 months ago, as I feel like I don't have much speed and just make it through 5-6 miles. I've got to get motivated again. For some reason my excitement about the bike has diminished has I feel like I get less and less time on it- not to mention it is nearly impossible to get myself motivated to jump on the rollers or trainer.... Anyway, running has been going better. I seem to do well in the morning but the evening is rather difficult for me.. I'm working on that motivation so if anyone has any ideas!
As for my first year of work- I absolutely LOVE Fountain Fort Carson. It is sooo much better than my previous employing district. I feel so supported, and also don't feel the unethical pressure that I did last year. My supervisor is amazing and I am learning oh so much! That doesn't go without stating that the learning curve is tiring and this year has had its challenges. Nonetheless, it is nice to be in a place that I believe in and enjoy going to!
I think that is about it. I'm going to give racing my bike a shot this year and race.. I'm headed to Tucson for a training camp- the average daily mileage is 100 but i, must to my dismay, won't be putting in such miles.... So, I just have to work my way up and get strong again. Okay, I brought a pile of work home to get done so.. I must get moving.
Happy Holidays :)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Good Evening. Man, I feel as though I need a change- but I can't tell you what that change needs to be.. a new haircut? a new blog background? a new location? hmmm.. I have no flippin clue!
Nonetheless, it has been a while since I have last updated! Let's start with some race reports- maybe that will help me forgot about my current distraction- my current dilemma that is ever weighing on my brain.
Race Report: Harvest Moon Long Duathlon (5K Run, 56 Mile Bike, 13.1 Mile Run)
Where to start- maybe with the 2 hours of sleep I got before and the drive to Denver at 4am on my own... you know it is not a good start when you wake up feeling nauseous due to no sleep. I feel asleep at the wheel twice on my way to denver- actually it scared me to death- it was nothing but the fate of something/someone above that woke me up just before i side swiped the divider on the highway and another moment of faith as a guy in his explorer blew his horn at me and I jerked back to the right! With that kind of start I figured I had 10 minutes to pull into a McDonald's parking lot and take a cat nap! After a 10 minute snooze in my car I was feeling better and headed onto the race with plenty of time to get ready.
I was reserved on my first run- coming in as the 2nd female and not even feeling like i was breathing hard. I grabbed my bike and headed out for 3 hours... ready to be off the bike I attempted to change into my racing shoes!!!! yikes, i could not even bend over my back was so stiff.. The half marathon well lets just say I made it through! Man, it hurt! I ran through mile 8, then cramping and shooting pain down my tailbone and up my back really started to bother me. I figured I'd walk a mile and run the last three strong- this turned into a four mile walk with me getting passed by almost every duathloner out there there in the last 3/4 of a mile.. man i wish i had had it in me to step it up. My goal was under 5:50, and if I remember correctly my finishing time was somewhere around 6:15.. so at least I finished!
Nike Women's Half Marathon- San Francisco!
well, i wish i could say I preped better for this one but I did not! I got discouraged after my du and work took over- I trained somewhat, but rather in consistently. I have to admit, two days before I had to go home early from work and was stil taking sudafed and advil the day of the race! I did well considering I was not consistent and still sick. I did it for my grandfather who passed away last year- I was determined not to slow down!
The half marathon raised 18 million dollars toward cancer research and such! I wish I could have contributed before he passed away, but I truly thought he had it beat! I miss him so freaking much! As they were announcing this on the start line tears filled my eyes and I tried to focus but all that was on my mind was how much i missed him. I turned that into motivating positive energy. I now have a finisher's necklace, designed by Tiffany, that I wear in honor of him- I'm actually going to have his initials engraved on the back!
I did better than my half last december so that was exciting! One of these days I'll have time, energy, and focus to really push myself to the max.
San Fran was fun. The first night D and I stayed in a fab. hotel in berkeley over looking the bay- way more than we could EVER afford, but a good friend got us a deal! Lots of celebs stay there from what I understand. The next night we headed out to visit some of D's friends in Marin County-- again beautiful.. you had a view of the entire bay! It was amazing. I miss water! However, even though Cali claims to be so laid back it really appeared rush rush rush to me- not us, but just the scene- maybe i've been in CO too long! haha, four years is a long time for me!
Lets see what else.. oh yeh- I resigned from lacrosse! Doesn't this story sound familiar? Yep again, I put in a year, and then moved on! I'm going to miss the girls so much BUT I really did not have the time to commit and had to do it for myself, my family, and my relationship! I have a wonderful guy, who treats me great!
I love my job, but it is busy. I still want my doctorate- I'm not sure if I will feel complete before I get that! I'm starting to look at programs but am going to take a few years to make a decision (1) because I'm waiting for Daniel to decide if he is going back and for how long if he decides so and (2) I want to make a good decision about what will really benefit me and what I want to do in the future. Also, something that is family friendly, not long stressful hours!
Our dog is on a dominant power thing right now- seems as though he thinks he can pick a fight with most dogs! I'm going to start really working with him to change that- one I think he thinks he is the dominant one and two.. I think he suffers from anxiety. I know sound crazy but I read that these dogs can, especially if they are not working, and he has picked up some weird behaviors - such as biting his bed! I feel for him because I have been working long hours and we have been traveling.. It seems that everytime I head back to work in the fall he really struggles with it! He is sick and on antibotics and a chicken broth diet- poor lil guy!
What else: Future plans-
I'm hoping to join a cycling team- I'm not sure yet, I have the contact but need to ride with them to see if they will let me on! Yikes- ... I hung my bike up after the du, because I was so disappointed- looks like I'll have to get back in the swing of it. I'm also looking to play lax in the spring again! It should be fun. I think I'll finally feel connected to a community again!
Its weird more and more I'm loving the springs- I find more trails, more people to run with, and we make more friends. On the same note, more and more I can't deal with the very extreme conservative nature! I think it is getting better though!
Oh well.. guess I should probably do some of the work I headed here to do OR head home and get some sleep- because I didn't get much last night- I was up till about 3am and again at 6am then crashed back out till my friend woke me up at 8:45! wow, i was conked out! 5am is going to come early! I hope you are all well :) I'm looking forward to the holiday in Kentucky- it is also so chill and laid back there!
Talk soon, well probably not, but hopefully so!
Nonetheless, it has been a while since I have last updated! Let's start with some race reports- maybe that will help me forgot about my current distraction- my current dilemma that is ever weighing on my brain.
Race Report: Harvest Moon Long Duathlon (5K Run, 56 Mile Bike, 13.1 Mile Run)
Where to start- maybe with the 2 hours of sleep I got before and the drive to Denver at 4am on my own... you know it is not a good start when you wake up feeling nauseous due to no sleep. I feel asleep at the wheel twice on my way to denver- actually it scared me to death- it was nothing but the fate of something/someone above that woke me up just before i side swiped the divider on the highway and another moment of faith as a guy in his explorer blew his horn at me and I jerked back to the right! With that kind of start I figured I had 10 minutes to pull into a McDonald's parking lot and take a cat nap! After a 10 minute snooze in my car I was feeling better and headed onto the race with plenty of time to get ready.
I was reserved on my first run- coming in as the 2nd female and not even feeling like i was breathing hard. I grabbed my bike and headed out for 3 hours... ready to be off the bike I attempted to change into my racing shoes!!!! yikes, i could not even bend over my back was so stiff.. The half marathon well lets just say I made it through! Man, it hurt! I ran through mile 8, then cramping and shooting pain down my tailbone and up my back really started to bother me. I figured I'd walk a mile and run the last three strong- this turned into a four mile walk with me getting passed by almost every duathloner out there there in the last 3/4 of a mile.. man i wish i had had it in me to step it up. My goal was under 5:50, and if I remember correctly my finishing time was somewhere around 6:15.. so at least I finished!
Nike Women's Half Marathon- San Francisco!
well, i wish i could say I preped better for this one but I did not! I got discouraged after my du and work took over- I trained somewhat, but rather in consistently. I have to admit, two days before I had to go home early from work and was stil taking sudafed and advil the day of the race! I did well considering I was not consistent and still sick. I did it for my grandfather who passed away last year- I was determined not to slow down!
The half marathon raised 18 million dollars toward cancer research and such! I wish I could have contributed before he passed away, but I truly thought he had it beat! I miss him so freaking much! As they were announcing this on the start line tears filled my eyes and I tried to focus but all that was on my mind was how much i missed him. I turned that into motivating positive energy. I now have a finisher's necklace, designed by Tiffany, that I wear in honor of him- I'm actually going to have his initials engraved on the back!
I did better than my half last december so that was exciting! One of these days I'll have time, energy, and focus to really push myself to the max.
San Fran was fun. The first night D and I stayed in a fab. hotel in berkeley over looking the bay- way more than we could EVER afford, but a good friend got us a deal! Lots of celebs stay there from what I understand. The next night we headed out to visit some of D's friends in Marin County-- again beautiful.. you had a view of the entire bay! It was amazing. I miss water! However, even though Cali claims to be so laid back it really appeared rush rush rush to me- not us, but just the scene- maybe i've been in CO too long! haha, four years is a long time for me!
Lets see what else.. oh yeh- I resigned from lacrosse! Doesn't this story sound familiar? Yep again, I put in a year, and then moved on! I'm going to miss the girls so much BUT I really did not have the time to commit and had to do it for myself, my family, and my relationship! I have a wonderful guy, who treats me great!
I love my job, but it is busy. I still want my doctorate- I'm not sure if I will feel complete before I get that! I'm starting to look at programs but am going to take a few years to make a decision (1) because I'm waiting for Daniel to decide if he is going back and for how long if he decides so and (2) I want to make a good decision about what will really benefit me and what I want to do in the future. Also, something that is family friendly, not long stressful hours!
Our dog is on a dominant power thing right now- seems as though he thinks he can pick a fight with most dogs! I'm going to start really working with him to change that- one I think he thinks he is the dominant one and two.. I think he suffers from anxiety. I know sound crazy but I read that these dogs can, especially if they are not working, and he has picked up some weird behaviors - such as biting his bed! I feel for him because I have been working long hours and we have been traveling.. It seems that everytime I head back to work in the fall he really struggles with it! He is sick and on antibotics and a chicken broth diet- poor lil guy!
What else: Future plans-
I'm hoping to join a cycling team- I'm not sure yet, I have the contact but need to ride with them to see if they will let me on! Yikes- ... I hung my bike up after the du, because I was so disappointed- looks like I'll have to get back in the swing of it. I'm also looking to play lax in the spring again! It should be fun. I think I'll finally feel connected to a community again!
Its weird more and more I'm loving the springs- I find more trails, more people to run with, and we make more friends. On the same note, more and more I can't deal with the very extreme conservative nature! I think it is getting better though!
Oh well.. guess I should probably do some of the work I headed here to do OR head home and get some sleep- because I didn't get much last night- I was up till about 3am and again at 6am then crashed back out till my friend woke me up at 8:45! wow, i was conked out! 5am is going to come early! I hope you are all well :) I'm looking forward to the holiday in Kentucky- it is also so chill and laid back there!
Talk soon, well probably not, but hopefully so!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Race Report- Pikes Peak Ascent
So.. for those of you who do not know what this is.... The Pikes Peak Ascent is a 1/2 marathon (trail) up Pikes Peak. The race starts in Manitou Springs at 6,295 feet and ends 13.32 miles later (a bit more than a half) at the Summit of Pikes Peak- 14,110 feet.
I'm not sure how to write a race report as I have never formally wrote on before. But here is my best ditch effort!
Start of the race Saturday August 16th..
Race Start Conditions: For those of you that know Colorado these are record lows for August!
Weather: At the start, light rain with temps in the 50s. Summit weather was in the top 30s with fog, sleet, wind, cold. It was pretty miserable on the top!
Wave 2 started at 7:30am. I might add I got to Memorial Park around 6:45am to pick up my big and get my sweat check bag together for the top! I was pretty wet by the start of the race as it had been slightly raining-pouring from 6:45-7:30am.
When I signed up back in March to do this crazy thing I had the best of intention of training and training hard BUT didn't realize that I had signed up for another daunting race only a month later in Sept. that includes 56 miles of bike. For most of you this may not be difficult, but for me trying to fit in proper bike time and run times, along with traveling and work, I soon realized something had to give, and it was high altitude training. I never stepped foot on the uphill section of Barr Camp. I only had done the incline a handful of times, running down the last 2.8 miles of Barr Camp. So.. I didn't set any goals, with a nagging hamstring most of the summer tthat took me out of my last duathlon before the finish, my sole goal yesterday was to finish!
Okay with that being said, when I got to the start of the race, I will be honest- several times I almost bagged. If I had not paid an obnoxious entry fee, I would have called it quits before it even started. I am glad I didn't.
The race began in the rain near the fire station in Manitou. The sky was dreary, reminded me of Feb. and March back in New York. As I ran past "A spice of life" (a quaint little coffee shop in Manitou) I thought... I could easily call Daniel and tell him to meet me for a hot cup of joe! i don't know what it was but...something inside me wouldn't let me stop.
As I made my way up Ruxton Ave, I was feeling great, much to my surprise. Especially, because my experienced friends reported that Ruxton is the most surprising part, and steeper than one would think. I hit the dirt trail and realized I was not even puffing hard up Ruxton Ave. So, I continued on. This was my first boost of positive energy.
For those of you that know me- I like to go out hard, and sometimes too hard. I like to go out as hard as I can, sometimes this leads to bonking or what I like to call "popping".. Anyway, as I watched people ahead of me turn into a fast hike, I decided to do the same. I let a friend pace me, well.. i'm not sure if he knew he was pacing me, but it was wonderful to the top of the incline. From there to Barr Camp, I knew the terrain was manageable if I kept a slow steady jog, so anyway, I went on trying to eat every 1/2 hour as my wonderful boy suggested! At Barr, I realized the 50 degree weather was quite nice and it was GREAT trail running weather, this would soon come to bite me in the BUTT!
I decided to utilize the wonderful aid station at Barr Camp. Drinking 2 glasses of water to every 1 glass of gatorade with 1/2 banana. As I left Barr Camp, I began jogging and realized that the food and beverages were attempting a juggling act around in my stomach. So I opted to hike for a bit, until the juggling act was perfected and settled. The 2.6 miles from Barr Camp to A-Frame alternated between bouts of slow jogging and fast hiking! When I got A-Frame, 10.2 miles in, I was feeling GREAT! At this point, I couldn't believe how well, for me, I was feeling! I thought I would be to the top by 3:35/3:45. I was so excited. IT ALL CHANGED! One/two switchbacks in, heading southward, it was at your back and felt OK, cold but ok.. It didn't take long until I lost feeling in my fingers! Now, I have bad cirulation, and my hands get cold real fast but nothing like this...
With a mile to go, I think they totally went numb, or I was pumping my arms hard and fast (yes, I know I probably looked like a tool) that I got some bood to go to them. About quarter of a mile left, I no longer knew I had legs attached to my body. I mean, I knew I was moving and I just wanted to get to the top faster than ever but if I touched my legs there wasn't much feeling. The last 2 miles came to almost a stand still several times, as more and more people clumped together because slippery weather conditions would not allow much passing.
What kept me going were the cheers and music, I could hear at the top, couldn't see but could hear, as the dense fog it only allowed for vision about 10-20 feet in front of me!
Anyway, I reached the top in under 4 hours. For some this isn't an accomplishment. For me, who didn't train, and didn't even want to start. I am excited! I also have to say I felt like a bad ass running through sleet, hail, and snow to get to the top!
For those who got turned around at A-Frame, I am sorry and that is probably very disappointing. but.. I think the race directors made a good call, as race conditions got worse and worse. I saw many with hypotherma at the top and it was kind of scary. As I crosse the finish line, the only thing that I could focus on was to get to the warm building! once inside the building, I realized how truly cold I was at it took over an hour before my body stopped shivering!
Nonetheless, it was an accomplishment that was well worth it BUT..I'm glad I am off the mtn! Stay tuned for pictures!
I'm not sure how to write a race report as I have never formally wrote on before. But here is my best ditch effort!
Start of the race Saturday August 16th..
Race Start Conditions: For those of you that know Colorado these are record lows for August!
Weather: At the start, light rain with temps in the 50s. Summit weather was in the top 30s with fog, sleet, wind, cold. It was pretty miserable on the top!
Wave 2 started at 7:30am. I might add I got to Memorial Park around 6:45am to pick up my big and get my sweat check bag together for the top! I was pretty wet by the start of the race as it had been slightly raining-pouring from 6:45-7:30am.
When I signed up back in March to do this crazy thing I had the best of intention of training and training hard BUT didn't realize that I had signed up for another daunting race only a month later in Sept. that includes 56 miles of bike. For most of you this may not be difficult, but for me trying to fit in proper bike time and run times, along with traveling and work, I soon realized something had to give, and it was high altitude training. I never stepped foot on the uphill section of Barr Camp. I only had done the incline a handful of times, running down the last 2.8 miles of Barr Camp. So.. I didn't set any goals, with a nagging hamstring most of the summer tthat took me out of my last duathlon before the finish, my sole goal yesterday was to finish!
Okay with that being said, when I got to the start of the race, I will be honest- several times I almost bagged. If I had not paid an obnoxious entry fee, I would have called it quits before it even started. I am glad I didn't.
The race began in the rain near the fire station in Manitou. The sky was dreary, reminded me of Feb. and March back in New York. As I ran past "A spice of life" (a quaint little coffee shop in Manitou) I thought... I could easily call Daniel and tell him to meet me for a hot cup of joe! i don't know what it was but...something inside me wouldn't let me stop.
As I made my way up Ruxton Ave, I was feeling great, much to my surprise. Especially, because my experienced friends reported that Ruxton is the most surprising part, and steeper than one would think. I hit the dirt trail and realized I was not even puffing hard up Ruxton Ave. So, I continued on. This was my first boost of positive energy.
For those of you that know me- I like to go out hard, and sometimes too hard. I like to go out as hard as I can, sometimes this leads to bonking or what I like to call "popping".. Anyway, as I watched people ahead of me turn into a fast hike, I decided to do the same. I let a friend pace me, well.. i'm not sure if he knew he was pacing me, but it was wonderful to the top of the incline. From there to Barr Camp, I knew the terrain was manageable if I kept a slow steady jog, so anyway, I went on trying to eat every 1/2 hour as my wonderful boy suggested! At Barr, I realized the 50 degree weather was quite nice and it was GREAT trail running weather, this would soon come to bite me in the BUTT!
I decided to utilize the wonderful aid station at Barr Camp. Drinking 2 glasses of water to every 1 glass of gatorade with 1/2 banana. As I left Barr Camp, I began jogging and realized that the food and beverages were attempting a juggling act around in my stomach. So I opted to hike for a bit, until the juggling act was perfected and settled. The 2.6 miles from Barr Camp to A-Frame alternated between bouts of slow jogging and fast hiking! When I got A-Frame, 10.2 miles in, I was feeling GREAT! At this point, I couldn't believe how well, for me, I was feeling! I thought I would be to the top by 3:35/3:45. I was so excited. IT ALL CHANGED! One/two switchbacks in, heading southward, it was at your back and felt OK, cold but ok.. It didn't take long until I lost feeling in my fingers! Now, I have bad cirulation, and my hands get cold real fast but nothing like this...
With a mile to go, I think they totally went numb, or I was pumping my arms hard and fast (yes, I know I probably looked like a tool) that I got some bood to go to them. About quarter of a mile left, I no longer knew I had legs attached to my body. I mean, I knew I was moving and I just wanted to get to the top faster than ever but if I touched my legs there wasn't much feeling. The last 2 miles came to almost a stand still several times, as more and more people clumped together because slippery weather conditions would not allow much passing.
What kept me going were the cheers and music, I could hear at the top, couldn't see but could hear, as the dense fog it only allowed for vision about 10-20 feet in front of me!
Anyway, I reached the top in under 4 hours. For some this isn't an accomplishment. For me, who didn't train, and didn't even want to start. I am excited! I also have to say I felt like a bad ass running through sleet, hail, and snow to get to the top!
For those who got turned around at A-Frame, I am sorry and that is probably very disappointing. but.. I think the race directors made a good call, as race conditions got worse and worse. I saw many with hypotherma at the top and it was kind of scary. As I crosse the finish line, the only thing that I could focus on was to get to the warm building! once inside the building, I realized how truly cold I was at it took over an hour before my body stopped shivering!
Nonetheless, it was an accomplishment that was well worth it BUT..I'm glad I am off the mtn! Stay tuned for pictures!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
What Would I Do?
Hi Friends, & Family!
I feel like it has been forever since I last wrote! Things are going really really well. I LOVE my new job, although busy, although my office looked like a bomb hit it this afternoon. I love kids walking by and popping their heads in to say hello. I love the staff I work with. The environment is such a more healthier place for me. Its funny when you have a really impacted place and everyone is there for the best interest in these kids. You know that they are getting some needs met at home, but maybe not all. Life isn't about getting into Harvard or how nasty you can be to someone else, or what brands of clothes you are wearing... Its not about being popular, its about being at school, being at home, building relationships, its about love, happiness, etc.. It is a wonderful place, when deep down its about what can we best do for kids, rather than, how we can best make ourselves look!
On another note, there has been lots of celebrations (I will accompany with pictures). My good friend Kel got married in July- I was home for almost a week, it went so fast. Daniel one his first mountain bike out here. I'm not talking about winning the entire 50 mile race by 10 minutes. Now that is an accomplishment! We, Daniel and I, hiked two 14ers (thats mtn. above 14,000 ft.)
We did Mt. Belford (14,197 ft.) and Oxford (14,153 ft). It is likely that Daniel's sister and brother in-law and adorable nephew, yet are considering moving back to Colorado!
There is more news but I will wait to announce that!
The Near Future: Ash's wedding is coming up! I am so excited. I'm racing the Ascent (for those who are not familiar- it is a half marathon up pikes peak-14,100 ft). I haven't trained much for it BUT I have a long duathlon coming up in Sept. that I'm getting really excited about and then the best of all- a half marathon in San Fransisco! Daniel and I finally get our OWN vacation! This will be the first time we are on our own vacation! This is exciting!
So.. the good stuff- pictures :)
D kickin up some dirt
D pimpin his award! Someday maybe I can pimp some cool awards.
Monday, July 07, 2008
No One wants snow right now but this is D and I snowshoeing and I love the pic- It was in an awesome place!
My Three Nephews- aren't they adorable!
view from Catamount Trail overlooking Green Mtn. Falls
Taos Solar Music Festival!
D and I in our rented adobe house just before show time on Friday! Show time!
D and I at the concert! My Beautiful Feet!!!
South Boundary trail (or SBT to the locals) in New Mexico- at 10,000 feet after an hour of straight climbing! Connector trails- white road and mondragon...
Taos Ski Resort Hike to Williams Lake- 11,000 feet above Sea Level! Beautiful! :)
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
TAOS, New Mexico
what a Zenful place... is zenful a word? I don't think so, but nonetheless I'm using it!
I'm blogging today only because I want to get the music line-up on the blog so I can get rid of another floating paper. I promise, I will commit more time to my blog next week with added pictures from Taos, D's family visit, etc!
It has been a crazy busy month. First off, my grandmother has been in the hospital for nearly two weeks, its been scary. It is hard for her as this is the first hospitalization she has had w/o my grandfather being there to support her. I wish I could be home more to offer support as well. I know my cuz, J, my sis, and my parents are offering as much as they can. I just would think that it would be so awful difficult. Please keep her in your thoughts through such a time!
Other than that, I cannot believe that it is July already, can you? Holy cow, where does time fly. I remember the days when I was sitting around wishing time would move faster. Now I can't slow it down for the life of me. Time is of the essence!
Okay so, finally a trip for D and I... it has been a while. I traveled with a club lacrosse team, team 180 most of June... NJ, Vail, and then with my lacrosse team to Breckenridge. I think over a two week time span, I spent 4 days at home, maybe! Crazy..
So now Taos, what a neat little town. D and I headed down there for the Solar Music Fest. with some friends, that I met through D12 last year working! We stayed in a nice little adobe style house! Friday we hit up the music festival scene- Music was good on Friday- particularly Sharon Gilchrist and the BoDeans!
Saturday we hit up the South Boundry Mountain bike trail! I have to say I did really enjoy myself. The first hour was all climbing, up to I believe 10,000 ft or so... views from the top were beautiful! then we headed into an Aspen Meadow (pics soon) trying to outrun a storm, i put the "pedal to the metal" so to speak! Well, I think D was still a little anxious behind me, wanting to move at a slightly faster pace, but for me it was good! the downhill section at the end was a bit technical... I made it out of there with some bruises! oh well.. you'll have that I guess. however, I tried to ride more than i probably should have and at least felt good about that! We hit the music festival up that evening and were slightly disappointed with the hip-hop band playing (not zen like).. Not Taos Solar Music Fest. like either from what I gather from regulars- D and i decided to check out some shops downtown and ran smack into a coffee/ice cream place w/ live music. I have to admit the ice cream was what lured me in! Lavender ice cream is to die for! The music was an added bonus. We ended up chilling there and buying Josh Parson's (might have to update the spelling of his last name) CD! I have turned into a fan! Due to a nice convo with him about his music/life/ and when he will be in the springs, we figured we better head back to watch Collective Soul at the festival and get our money's worth!
Collective Soul was good, but not Taos--- the lead was swinging the mic around in a 90's style way and it just did not fit with the dancing hippies at the edge of the stage, nor the behind the stage stick figure scenery!
Sunday- a relaxing day, bfast with the entire crew, then D and I headed out to Taos Ski Valley for a 4 mile hike to lake Williams!! BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL! The hike was well worth it. We completed our weekend with a 4 hour drive back to the springs, partially through a hail storm! It was crazy!!!!
I will post pictures soon!
As for the Taos Solar Music Fest. Line-Up (which we didn't see much of) here it is:
Concepto Tambor
Bone Orchard
Sharon Gilchrist
Hal Ketchum
BoDeans
Michael Hearne
TajWeekes&Adowa
Pacifika
Robert Mirabal
The Coup
Collective Soul
The Random Family String Band
Liz Painter Band
Tribal Songs with Taos Pueblo Singers
Don Richmond
Passafire
Allison Moorer
Plena Libre
Steve Earle
Susan Tedeschi
Melissa Crabtree
Salsa w/ Rigo Berta
I'm blogging today only because I want to get the music line-up on the blog so I can get rid of another floating paper. I promise, I will commit more time to my blog next week with added pictures from Taos, D's family visit, etc!
It has been a crazy busy month. First off, my grandmother has been in the hospital for nearly two weeks, its been scary. It is hard for her as this is the first hospitalization she has had w/o my grandfather being there to support her. I wish I could be home more to offer support as well. I know my cuz, J, my sis, and my parents are offering as much as they can. I just would think that it would be so awful difficult. Please keep her in your thoughts through such a time!
Other than that, I cannot believe that it is July already, can you? Holy cow, where does time fly. I remember the days when I was sitting around wishing time would move faster. Now I can't slow it down for the life of me. Time is of the essence!
Okay so, finally a trip for D and I... it has been a while. I traveled with a club lacrosse team, team 180 most of June... NJ, Vail, and then with my lacrosse team to Breckenridge. I think over a two week time span, I spent 4 days at home, maybe! Crazy..
So now Taos, what a neat little town. D and I headed down there for the Solar Music Fest. with some friends, that I met through D12 last year working! We stayed in a nice little adobe style house! Friday we hit up the music festival scene- Music was good on Friday- particularly Sharon Gilchrist and the BoDeans!
Saturday we hit up the South Boundry Mountain bike trail! I have to say I did really enjoy myself. The first hour was all climbing, up to I believe 10,000 ft or so... views from the top were beautiful! then we headed into an Aspen Meadow (pics soon) trying to outrun a storm, i put the "pedal to the metal" so to speak! Well, I think D was still a little anxious behind me, wanting to move at a slightly faster pace, but for me it was good! the downhill section at the end was a bit technical... I made it out of there with some bruises! oh well.. you'll have that I guess. however, I tried to ride more than i probably should have and at least felt good about that! We hit the music festival up that evening and were slightly disappointed with the hip-hop band playing (not zen like).. Not Taos Solar Music Fest. like either from what I gather from regulars- D and i decided to check out some shops downtown and ran smack into a coffee/ice cream place w/ live music. I have to admit the ice cream was what lured me in! Lavender ice cream is to die for! The music was an added bonus. We ended up chilling there and buying Josh Parson's (might have to update the spelling of his last name) CD! I have turned into a fan! Due to a nice convo with him about his music/life/ and when he will be in the springs, we figured we better head back to watch Collective Soul at the festival and get our money's worth!
Collective Soul was good, but not Taos--- the lead was swinging the mic around in a 90's style way and it just did not fit with the dancing hippies at the edge of the stage, nor the behind the stage stick figure scenery!
Sunday- a relaxing day, bfast with the entire crew, then D and I headed out to Taos Ski Valley for a 4 mile hike to lake Williams!! BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL! The hike was well worth it. We completed our weekend with a 4 hour drive back to the springs, partially through a hail storm! It was crazy!!!!
I will post pictures soon!
As for the Taos Solar Music Fest. Line-Up (which we didn't see much of) here it is:
Concepto Tambor
Bone Orchard
Sharon Gilchrist
Hal Ketchum
BoDeans
Michael Hearne
TajWeekes&Adowa
Pacifika
Robert Mirabal
The Coup
Collective Soul
The Random Family String Band
Liz Painter Band
Tribal Songs with Taos Pueblo Singers
Don Richmond
Passafire
Allison Moorer
Plena Libre
Steve Earle
Susan Tedeschi
Melissa Crabtree
Salsa w/ Rigo Berta
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
ABOUT ME!
Awwwhhh Summer :) I love the summer! Anyway, I have to admit I copied this post from my friend Tami's blog just because it really made me think. So much has gone on in my life in the last 4 years since I moved to Colorado. The number one thing is of course, meeting Daniel! However, I've changed several jobs, graduated graduate school and moved about a dozen times.. It has been crazy. In passing, I've met several people that have come in and out, some have stayed and I am most grateful for that. Lots have been with me through the not so easy times! It is just so interesting reflecting on where I've been, what i've done, and what I dream about for the future!
What were you doing a decade ago?
10 years ago, I was in high school and loving life. I was a junior- playing soccer in the fall, skiing and ice hockey in the winter, and lacrosse spring & summer. I was prepping for college, I loved it. I was getting excited about independence and what the future had in store for me. I was definitely transitioning and with every transition you learn new things about yourself. I remember I was asking myself a lot of questions, as to whether Penn Yan was the place for me to stay, what I wanted to do as a career, was i satisfied not knowing what was out there etc; BUT, most of all I was enjoying my friends and family in a small town, on the lake, and at the box rink! I was hanging out with life-long friends. I think it was the year before senioritis set in, before really worrying about college and a career set in, before worrying about finances--it was a carefree year!
5 things on my to do list:
1. travel abroad again
2. scrapbook more- get back in touch with my creative side
3. become more involved with autism and its awareness
4. start my own business
5. learn to be organized enough to actually finish every project that I start.
5 Places that I have lived:
1. Bluff Point, NY (where I grew up)
2. Erie, PA
3. Brisbane, Australia
4. Denver, Colorado
5. Colorado Springs, Colorado
5 Jobs that I have had:
1. check out girl at a local fruit stand
2. Autism Teacher- toddlers and school prep
3. field worker (de-tassling corn- that lasted all but 2 weeks)
4. Coach
5. Para Educator (worked with special needs kids)
5 things people don't know about me
1. I LOVED growing up in the country and having not a worry in the world!
2. I was a mischievous, hyperactive, kid in middle school-equaled lots of detentions for talking and tardiness
3. I've been sky diving
4. I am ultra competitive when it comes to physical activities, even if I know your light years ahead of me!
5. I enjoy getting dressed up and going to fancy functions (even though I'm usually found in workout clothes with my hair up)!
What were you doing a decade ago?
10 years ago, I was in high school and loving life. I was a junior- playing soccer in the fall, skiing and ice hockey in the winter, and lacrosse spring & summer. I was prepping for college, I loved it. I was getting excited about independence and what the future had in store for me. I was definitely transitioning and with every transition you learn new things about yourself. I remember I was asking myself a lot of questions, as to whether Penn Yan was the place for me to stay, what I wanted to do as a career, was i satisfied not knowing what was out there etc; BUT, most of all I was enjoying my friends and family in a small town, on the lake, and at the box rink! I was hanging out with life-long friends. I think it was the year before senioritis set in, before really worrying about college and a career set in, before worrying about finances--it was a carefree year!
5 things on my to do list:
1. travel abroad again
2. scrapbook more- get back in touch with my creative side
3. become more involved with autism and its awareness
4. start my own business
5. learn to be organized enough to actually finish every project that I start.
5 Places that I have lived:
1. Bluff Point, NY (where I grew up)
2. Erie, PA
3. Brisbane, Australia
4. Denver, Colorado
5. Colorado Springs, Colorado
5 Jobs that I have had:
1. check out girl at a local fruit stand
2. Autism Teacher- toddlers and school prep
3. field worker (de-tassling corn- that lasted all but 2 weeks)
4. Coach
5. Para Educator (worked with special needs kids)
5 things people don't know about me
1. I LOVED growing up in the country and having not a worry in the world!
2. I was a mischievous, hyperactive, kid in middle school-equaled lots of detentions for talking and tardiness
3. I've been sky diving
4. I am ultra competitive when it comes to physical activities, even if I know your light years ahead of me!
5. I enjoy getting dressed up and going to fancy functions (even though I'm usually found in workout clothes with my hair up)!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Digesting....
As I sit here with some downtime tonight, I realize I am exhausted. That is what I've been for the last couple of months--hard to get up in the morning, hard to make my workouts happen, and hard to stay up at night.. I realized tonight that I could have gone to bed at 6:45pm but my dog would have hated me since Daniel is out of town....
As things start to slow, the impact of the loss is really setting in hard. I think I've been in tears 3x this week over it. I miss my grandfather. I have to admit this isn't a reality to me yet. I talked to my grandmother today and... it just sucks there is nothing else I can say about it. I hurt so bad when she didn't say "your grandfather just walked in want to talk to him." I'm struggling more so than I ever have in my life....
I have to be honest with myself and I'm trying to be merciful as well but this is one of the hardest 9 months I have had in my life and I feel like I'm going to crack at any moment. Now isn't that great--Honestly, I don't know if I'm getting older or weaker or what but I just can't handle stress like I used to be able to, it does awful things to you. The stress of a very dysfunctional internship assignment and school was enough to handle, then I took on coaching, which didn't seem to be stressful, just time consuming. To add to that I made two trips back to NY in March and I haven't fully recovered from the second.. It hurts so freakin bad! I miss my family...
It is funny to hear me say I don't deal with change well because my mo has been that I am scared to get comfortable. I don't want comfort but I don't want to lose people I love... EVER.... I know i sound helpless right now, that isn't the case--life goes on, i put it away and save it for another time but.. holy cow, it is so hard to help kids and other adults right now when I have this constant ache in my heart that just longs for my grandfather back..It was his birthday yesterday, I hope he was celebrating with his brothers but I have to admit--I'm selfish--I wish he could have been celebrating here.
As ridiculous as it sounds, on top of that I've gained a bunch of weight and that bothers me too... Why can't I got the other direction when I'm stressed and upset--I wouldn't mind losing it.. I need life to slow down a bit so I can get caught back up but I don't like it when it slows down because then I realize what I miss and how I hurt...
Okay so on another note, I must promote this event runforthefallen.org. check it out. A group of guys (including one dear old friend of mine from high school) will be running across the country this summer in honor of fallen soldiers. One mile will be dedicated to every solider! I think this is awesome. Check out the website to help support or run- there is even and informational gig up on u-tube!
Okay it is off to bed for me.. I only have 8 more days at that place I refer to as an internship. I must say my wonderful colleagues in the itinerant office have a wonderful sense of humor and are helping this end come much more humorous and quickly! I am much excited for my new job next year.
goodnight and sorry this blog was not so chipper! I promise they will pep up a bit.. everyone goes through these times right??
As things start to slow, the impact of the loss is really setting in hard. I think I've been in tears 3x this week over it. I miss my grandfather. I have to admit this isn't a reality to me yet. I talked to my grandmother today and... it just sucks there is nothing else I can say about it. I hurt so bad when she didn't say "your grandfather just walked in want to talk to him." I'm struggling more so than I ever have in my life....
I have to be honest with myself and I'm trying to be merciful as well but this is one of the hardest 9 months I have had in my life and I feel like I'm going to crack at any moment. Now isn't that great--Honestly, I don't know if I'm getting older or weaker or what but I just can't handle stress like I used to be able to, it does awful things to you. The stress of a very dysfunctional internship assignment and school was enough to handle, then I took on coaching, which didn't seem to be stressful, just time consuming. To add to that I made two trips back to NY in March and I haven't fully recovered from the second.. It hurts so freakin bad! I miss my family...
It is funny to hear me say I don't deal with change well because my mo has been that I am scared to get comfortable. I don't want comfort but I don't want to lose people I love... EVER.... I know i sound helpless right now, that isn't the case--life goes on, i put it away and save it for another time but.. holy cow, it is so hard to help kids and other adults right now when I have this constant ache in my heart that just longs for my grandfather back..It was his birthday yesterday, I hope he was celebrating with his brothers but I have to admit--I'm selfish--I wish he could have been celebrating here.
As ridiculous as it sounds, on top of that I've gained a bunch of weight and that bothers me too... Why can't I got the other direction when I'm stressed and upset--I wouldn't mind losing it.. I need life to slow down a bit so I can get caught back up but I don't like it when it slows down because then I realize what I miss and how I hurt...
Okay so on another note, I must promote this event runforthefallen.org. check it out. A group of guys (including one dear old friend of mine from high school) will be running across the country this summer in honor of fallen soldiers. One mile will be dedicated to every solider! I think this is awesome. Check out the website to help support or run- there is even and informational gig up on u-tube!
Okay it is off to bed for me.. I only have 8 more days at that place I refer to as an internship. I must say my wonderful colleagues in the itinerant office have a wonderful sense of humor and are helping this end come much more humorous and quickly! I am much excited for my new job next year.
goodnight and sorry this blog was not so chipper! I promise they will pep up a bit.. everyone goes through these times right??
Sunday, April 06, 2008
In Loving Memory of my Grandfather
so.. I can't help as though feeling as if I jinxed the whole thing.. I know I shouldn't but really, I didn't blog about it all winter and as soon as I did, I get the phone call. My grandfather was a tough man, he fighted this thing till he shrunk the tumors so much they basically didn't exist. Unfortunately, from what my distraught mind can understand is that he couldn't fight off a virus or had another blood clot in his lungs- this we will never know but.. this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I will miss my grandfather greatly.
I don't think anyone can truly understand because not many are as close to their grandparents as I am. I basically lived there, I ate more at their house then I did my parents, I showered there often, and slept there every once in a while. I grocery shopped in their cupboards when I came home from college... I am grateful for the amount of time I got to have with my grandfather and frankly, am pissed that it was cut short. I think I'm in the angry stage now. Not angry with my grandfather but angry that somewhere somehow something could decide his time had come. He touched so many people's lives. The numbers at his calling hours range somewhere between over 500 and over 950..... we dont' know..
He meant the world to me and will continue.... when I'm able to I'll blog the little piece I said at his funeral and I'll blog more wonderful memories. Right now it is just too fresh.... I miss him too much, and I'm too upset..
I'm Free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free.
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call.
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
to laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I've found the peace at the close of day
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joe,
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
Ah yes, these things I, too, will miss.
But be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life has been full, I've savored much,
Good friends, good times, my loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and share with me.
God wanted me know; He set me free.
This was the poem on my papa's memoir that brings tears to my eyes everytime. It sure is going to be tough the next time I go home. I know he is with me always but..I'm selfish and I want him here in person to laugh with and share funny stories with....
I don't think anyone can truly understand because not many are as close to their grandparents as I am. I basically lived there, I ate more at their house then I did my parents, I showered there often, and slept there every once in a while. I grocery shopped in their cupboards when I came home from college... I am grateful for the amount of time I got to have with my grandfather and frankly, am pissed that it was cut short. I think I'm in the angry stage now. Not angry with my grandfather but angry that somewhere somehow something could decide his time had come. He touched so many people's lives. The numbers at his calling hours range somewhere between over 500 and over 950..... we dont' know..
He meant the world to me and will continue.... when I'm able to I'll blog the little piece I said at his funeral and I'll blog more wonderful memories. Right now it is just too fresh.... I miss him too much, and I'm too upset..
I'm Free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free.
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call.
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
to laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I've found the peace at the close of day
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joe,
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
Ah yes, these things I, too, will miss.
But be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life has been full, I've savored much,
Good friends, good times, my loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and share with me.
God wanted me know; He set me free.
This was the poem on my papa's memoir that brings tears to my eyes everytime. It sure is going to be tough the next time I go home. I know he is with me always but..I'm selfish and I want him here in person to laugh with and share funny stories with....
Friday, March 28, 2008
so be it.
I can't blog long.. my dog hates me and I don't blame him. I've been sitting at this computer for..oh.. since 10am when the dog and I got back from a walk.. YUCK it is 3:15pm. I've got to take him back out again, run to kinkos to scan my final documents (man do I wish I had a scanner here), one more summary and then just tweaking. I was hoping to get to denver today to hand this damn thing in but guess what.. didn't happen.
I'm not sure if it is portfolio sucking all my energy, home, lacrosse, work, or what.. I just don't know anymore but I don't like it. Not to mention I have this cold, that I had three weeks ago--it went away but my asthmatic symptoms lingered, now sore throat and stuffiness is back.. I usually shake things quickly and keep them from creeping back up but I think it is just a sign that I'm torn down..
Another friend of mine got married- three engaged and doing down this summer... I'm sure plenty more to come.. I'm so happy for them! :) Makes me really miss my friends from college and home LOTS!
What else.. Colorado Springs is wonderful. After my portfolio is handed in i'm gearing up for some training and kicking my ass back in gear--yes, I gained a total of 7 pounds this winter and I'm not in the slightest happy about it. I know pounds don't matter but when my clothes start to get tight it just angers me!
What else.. Graduation is about a month away and I just got news today that my grandmas and mom are coming out. I'm so happy. I can't wait for them to come!
Oh yeah and I forgot to mention. My grandfather's doctor has suggested he doesn't need chemo anymore! hurray! I don't think I blogged about this this year, it was too emotional. Anyway- my dear grandfather was diagnosed with lung cancer this past fall.. man is he tough as nails. I admire him for his strength for sure! I am just so happy over the news.. they will continue to monitor but if you have ever watched anyone near and dear to you go through radiation and chemo it sucks!... I have a new admiration for anyone who goes through the treatment! So i'm heading on an overly happy note because now his strength will come back and and no one deserves that more than my gramps!
I need a vacation! Somewhere warm, with beaches, away from everything.. i just want to get up walk out go run, lay in the sun, play in the water etc......
I'm not sure if it is portfolio sucking all my energy, home, lacrosse, work, or what.. I just don't know anymore but I don't like it. Not to mention I have this cold, that I had three weeks ago--it went away but my asthmatic symptoms lingered, now sore throat and stuffiness is back.. I usually shake things quickly and keep them from creeping back up but I think it is just a sign that I'm torn down..
Another friend of mine got married- three engaged and doing down this summer... I'm sure plenty more to come.. I'm so happy for them! :) Makes me really miss my friends from college and home LOTS!
What else.. Colorado Springs is wonderful. After my portfolio is handed in i'm gearing up for some training and kicking my ass back in gear--yes, I gained a total of 7 pounds this winter and I'm not in the slightest happy about it. I know pounds don't matter but when my clothes start to get tight it just angers me!
What else.. Graduation is about a month away and I just got news today that my grandmas and mom are coming out. I'm so happy. I can't wait for them to come!
Oh yeah and I forgot to mention. My grandfather's doctor has suggested he doesn't need chemo anymore! hurray! I don't think I blogged about this this year, it was too emotional. Anyway- my dear grandfather was diagnosed with lung cancer this past fall.. man is he tough as nails. I admire him for his strength for sure! I am just so happy over the news.. they will continue to monitor but if you have ever watched anyone near and dear to you go through radiation and chemo it sucks!... I have a new admiration for anyone who goes through the treatment! So i'm heading on an overly happy note because now his strength will come back and and no one deserves that more than my gramps!
I need a vacation! Somewhere warm, with beaches, away from everything.. i just want to get up walk out go run, lay in the sun, play in the water etc......
Saturday, March 01, 2008
exciting saturday
I feel like the spicy jazzy color orange tonight, as I settle into bed and hope to fall off to sleep quickly. Things are good, but busy. As you can tell, my blog has been neglected this year, as have many things...life balance between work and play, my friends, my workouts...etc. Sorry, I just cannot put any more hours/minutes in front of my computer as I do during the day and then the tireless hours I rack up working on my portfolio for my graduate work--one big hell of a happy dance in April is on its way I tell you.
I sitting here staring at the feng shui candles on my dresser wondering if they really work. I've got a nice warm dog laying on my shoulder... man who ever referred to the dog as man's best friend wasn't kidding--this guy really keeps me going... He is great! So happy, so friendly, and always there for me! I love it...
Anyway, graduate work is almost done and I cannot wait.. Soon, I will be a successful independent graduate!! Four long years, completed. The final happy day is May 17th, 2008! I have been persuaded to walk for graduation and ya know what, I'm glad I was talked into it. After four long years of piecing odd-end jobs together, or, as of late working one job full time and attending school at night, or driving over an hour to attend school after working all day--I should walk! Prance right across that stage and thank the person handing me that expensive piece of paper!
Feng Shui...Wood, Fire, Metal, Water... Earth is my best element and my best direction is north-east...awwhh where I was born and raised! looks like I should burn the earth candle while it is facing north-east! got it! Feng Shui creative order all the way-- Earth contains metal, metal can be melted to flow like water, water enables wood to grow, wood feeds fire, fire burns to create ash or earth and the cycle continues again.
Okay 9:30, I'm hitting up core power at 8:00am after I take the dog for a little morning jog. I love waking up to his happy little tongue and tail as he jumps up on our bed and sends his message "get up!" I just wish I was full of energy like he has.. He hasn't been so happy with me lately because I haven't had the time to really get him out..just little bits here and there. I was doing well until I got sick with two a.m. runs a week and two lifts a week.. getting on my bike has been difficult and frustrating! eek... I want to and I really wanted to put time in on the trainer this winter-month of January intentions started out all good and I was right on scheduled track but that has faltered.
My lacrosse team rocked today--the girls played so well, I'm so proud of them won 4 out of 5 scrimmages--that isn't too shabby! We are going to be in good shape this year for sure... Anyway, its time to get back to my portfolio..
I sitting here staring at the feng shui candles on my dresser wondering if they really work. I've got a nice warm dog laying on my shoulder... man who ever referred to the dog as man's best friend wasn't kidding--this guy really keeps me going... He is great! So happy, so friendly, and always there for me! I love it...
Anyway, graduate work is almost done and I cannot wait.. Soon, I will be a successful independent graduate!! Four long years, completed. The final happy day is May 17th, 2008! I have been persuaded to walk for graduation and ya know what, I'm glad I was talked into it. After four long years of piecing odd-end jobs together, or, as of late working one job full time and attending school at night, or driving over an hour to attend school after working all day--I should walk! Prance right across that stage and thank the person handing me that expensive piece of paper!
Feng Shui...Wood, Fire, Metal, Water... Earth is my best element and my best direction is north-east...awwhh where I was born and raised! looks like I should burn the earth candle while it is facing north-east! got it! Feng Shui creative order all the way-- Earth contains metal, metal can be melted to flow like water, water enables wood to grow, wood feeds fire, fire burns to create ash or earth and the cycle continues again.
Okay 9:30, I'm hitting up core power at 8:00am after I take the dog for a little morning jog. I love waking up to his happy little tongue and tail as he jumps up on our bed and sends his message "get up!" I just wish I was full of energy like he has.. He hasn't been so happy with me lately because I haven't had the time to really get him out..just little bits here and there. I was doing well until I got sick with two a.m. runs a week and two lifts a week.. getting on my bike has been difficult and frustrating! eek... I want to and I really wanted to put time in on the trainer this winter-month of January intentions started out all good and I was right on scheduled track but that has faltered.
My lacrosse team rocked today--the girls played so well, I'm so proud of them won 4 out of 5 scrimmages--that isn't too shabby! We are going to be in good shape this year for sure... Anyway, its time to get back to my portfolio..
Thursday, January 17, 2008
pictures of home.. home is always home!
Above my wonderful gramps and I!!!
Here is pretty much the beginning of November through Xmas.. Sorry i'm too lazy tonight to post--very sleepy!!! Leaving for Philly tomorrow. I can't wait.. I need some east coast attitude for a few days :)
Hope you are all well! :)
The sis and cuz...
the wine crew gang!
Below- the adorable zachary!!! he is getting sooo big!
Decorating the tree with Spence!
Kel and I at Em's wedding
Seneca Lake
The bride and I at Ventosa Winery for the reception :)
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