so.. I can't help as though feeling as if I jinxed the whole thing.. I know I shouldn't but really, I didn't blog about it all winter and as soon as I did, I get the phone call. My grandfather was a tough man, he fighted this thing till he shrunk the tumors so much they basically didn't exist. Unfortunately, from what my distraught mind can understand is that he couldn't fight off a virus or had another blood clot in his lungs- this we will never know but.. this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I will miss my grandfather greatly.
I don't think anyone can truly understand because not many are as close to their grandparents as I am. I basically lived there, I ate more at their house then I did my parents, I showered there often, and slept there every once in a while. I grocery shopped in their cupboards when I came home from college... I am grateful for the amount of time I got to have with my grandfather and frankly, am pissed that it was cut short. I think I'm in the angry stage now. Not angry with my grandfather but angry that somewhere somehow something could decide his time had come. He touched so many people's lives. The numbers at his calling hours range somewhere between over 500 and over 950..... we dont' know..
He meant the world to me and will continue.... when I'm able to I'll blog the little piece I said at his funeral and I'll blog more wonderful memories. Right now it is just too fresh.... I miss him too much, and I'm too upset..
I'm Free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free.
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call.
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
to laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I've found the peace at the close of day
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joe,
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
Ah yes, these things I, too, will miss.
But be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life has been full, I've savored much,
Good friends, good times, my loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and share with me.
God wanted me know; He set me free.
This was the poem on my papa's memoir that brings tears to my eyes everytime. It sure is going to be tough the next time I go home. I know he is with me always but..I'm selfish and I want him here in person to laugh with and share funny stories with....
