If I die young...
This week has me thinking...what would I regret? What would I want to tell people? What would I have wanted to been? Is it what I am now? .... thoughts...
So what sparked this post- life gets taken from someone too young. We lost a teacher in our district this week, she was 29, she touched several students. I did not personally know her but have heard nothing but wonderful things about her. She touched her students and left a lasting impression- here is a blurb from her principal. On Tuesday, she found out she had a brain tumor, by Thursday, they were keeping her on life support until her mother could get to her side. Her is what came of today:
Kim graduated from the Colorado School of Mines earning a Master’s of Arts Degree in Chemistry. Rather than pursuing opportunities in medical research, she decided to lend her expertise to teaching students, especially middle school students, about the wonders of science. Her passion for teaching was evident from the moment she entered the building. Kim pursued the teaching profession through the alternative licensure teaching program and began an unforgettable, personal journey of learning and teaching. She taught a mere 4 years at Carson Middle School but left a lasting impression on the school’s science program and its students. Her positive and creative approach to instruction inspired her students to explore and challenge themselves. In the short time she taught at Carson, she sponsored many programs for students to introduce and encourage their interest in science. Kim was one of the movers in establishing the science club and science Olympiad program. She initiated trips to the Challenger Space training center, the space museum in Denver and hosted the annual elementary chemistry night to introduce future students to the joy of science. She was a role model for all students but especially for her young girls and promoted their interest by taking a group to the Science, Technology, Engineering and Math conference hosted by the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. Her short career was highlighted by her being selected to participate in the NASA fellowship program and working closely with NASA scientists to explore various concepts in physics and develop specific middle level curriculum for her students.
Kim learned much through trial and error and perseverance but remained positive and always had a smile on her face. She was innovative and loved to utilize all the technology she could, to motivate her students. Kim held high expectations for all of her students and demanded that they meet those expectations. She also was caring and understanding and would work tirelessly to meet the needs of her students. Her high energy approach to instruction and passion for teaching has left a lasting impact on the science program at Carson and the students who were lucky enough to have had her as a teacher.
How remarkable is it that by the age of 29 she had touched so many lives and left a lasting positive impression... How unfair is it that she was taken at 29?
I want to give a little more, I give a lot but I'm not patient all the time. I need to become a better listener. I need to enjoy. There are what I consider two people in life, both neither good nor bad BUT... one perceives things as "they make life happen" the other "life just happens." We have lots to learn from both perceptions. I believe somewhere in the middle is a healthy balance...however, I struggle to find that balance, as I'm a "making life happen" person- I plan, I think, I plan....I DO! On the other hand, the "life happens" peeps let life happen and sit back to enjoy the ride.. its an interesting mix!
But what would I do differently? Life is a precious gift and here is what I have concluded:
1. Call those close to you (friends, family, loved ones) a bit more
2. Laugh a little louder
3. Let things go a bit quicker
4. Work to put a smile on someone's face everyday
Go out and enjoy it, its too short to take for granted, its too short to work away, it goes by to quick to just let it happen, but also too quick to plan for it all. My thoughts and prayers are with Kim's family. Lets all be thankful for the time she had with her students and the lasting impression she left.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Monday, November 08, 2010
The Runner's High- Thoughts During 20 Miles
Some 2-3 years ago now, I started this blog and it transpired to a chore that I didn't want nor could keep up with. It was supposed to be about my process, finding my path through life....Today, it is an avenue- I write about the process, finding oneself, and answering questions that aren't easy to answer. Life's lessons, lessons learned, and the ever-changing.
How was this inspired you may wonder? Someone at work asked me the other day "what the heck do you do or think about on a 20 mile jog? That's crazy!" A year ago, I would have said that's crazy because I had lost touch with running and the mere enjoyment of being out there and making your feet move. How did I answer you wonder? Well...I looked at them as if it was a crazy question, but crazy it was far from that. The answer is so much deeper than a simple response- did they have time for that? Did they want to hear that, really? So.... my answer at the time was "heck I don't know." Holy shit..I didn't have an answer- one of my biggest fears! Not having answers scares me, not having a plan or direction makes me nervous and intimidates the hell out of me. Typical people probably don't understand this, nor the stress it creates within me; this is where I figured they didn't want me to go...they really didn't want the real answer. I shrugged again, as if my first answer "heck I don't know" wasn't good enough because they stood there looking at me. Then I thought about 2 seconds later this is what came out "a whole lot of something and much more of nothing. does that make sense?" I guess they were content with that answer as they nodded, shrugged and said "have a great day!"
That question stuck in my head though, I'm a thinker, a deep thinker, I'm passionate about things I'm involved in-sometimes this is good, sometimes this haunts me- but back to the question that I pondered for a few days, okay for a week. How do I explain the runner's high? How do I explain not being in my head? Not sure I've come to the conclusion....maybe...?? Not everything in life has an answer, an explanation, words. Some things are best without those. Holy cow, is this me talking, a person who verbal processes EVERYTHING to the fullest extent possible?! And..that my friends, right there is why I enjoy running- I take in the beauty of it, I enjoy the scenery, I feel my body (well learning too), and has odd as it sounds I get out of my head for just a little while. I can just be, happy with myself and my surroundings, proud of my accomplishments. 20 miles, I never thought I could run, but ran it this past weekend without an inch of pain or soreness. I am blessed with a lot--first and foremost a family that I can laugh and cry with at any given moment, who will listen (really listen) and who have never let me down. A significant other- who has a great balance of fun and work... A dog who couldn't be happier to see you, even if you did only leave for 5 minutes. Friends that have gone to great lengths for me, a career that touches the lives of others, that in of itself people have a lot expectations of me....but still I demand more of myself, why??? More and more... I'm never quite there, haven't accomplished enough for myself internally.
The runner's high...I drop those expectations for myself and I can just be..be in the moment. I think of my grandfather, who is in a better place watching over me and guiding me, the mountains, the water, I see the wildlife and I realize that each moment in and of itself holds a special place.
Screw time goals- do I want to do well yes...do I have expectations of myself yes, will I get there yes. Per a conversation with my coach today, my number one priority is the atmosphere, the people and the support that matters most.
In which leads me to this article that a co-worker sent my way today: "The Only Time We Have Together Is Right Now" (http://www.parade.com/health/2010/11/07-only-time-we-have-together. or www.parade.com). A story of a couple that are more aware than most of the importance of living in the present. With one diagnosed with a rare aggressive form of cancer. "They talk about falling in love was easy, but finding time to spend together was not."
So from the words of the bride: "This is ridiculously overwhelming-in a wonderful way." And yes, in many ways this is....LIFE....
Now, if I had gone on that tangent, my coworker probably would have wished he never asked! Go out and enjoy the moment, I know I'm trying to do that more and more often!
Peace and tranquility!
How was this inspired you may wonder? Someone at work asked me the other day "what the heck do you do or think about on a 20 mile jog? That's crazy!" A year ago, I would have said that's crazy because I had lost touch with running and the mere enjoyment of being out there and making your feet move. How did I answer you wonder? Well...I looked at them as if it was a crazy question, but crazy it was far from that. The answer is so much deeper than a simple response- did they have time for that? Did they want to hear that, really? So.... my answer at the time was "heck I don't know." Holy shit..I didn't have an answer- one of my biggest fears! Not having answers scares me, not having a plan or direction makes me nervous and intimidates the hell out of me. Typical people probably don't understand this, nor the stress it creates within me; this is where I figured they didn't want me to go...they really didn't want the real answer. I shrugged again, as if my first answer "heck I don't know" wasn't good enough because they stood there looking at me. Then I thought about 2 seconds later this is what came out "a whole lot of something and much more of nothing. does that make sense?" I guess they were content with that answer as they nodded, shrugged and said "have a great day!"
That question stuck in my head though, I'm a thinker, a deep thinker, I'm passionate about things I'm involved in-sometimes this is good, sometimes this haunts me- but back to the question that I pondered for a few days, okay for a week. How do I explain the runner's high? How do I explain not being in my head? Not sure I've come to the conclusion....maybe...?? Not everything in life has an answer, an explanation, words. Some things are best without those. Holy cow, is this me talking, a person who verbal processes EVERYTHING to the fullest extent possible?! And..that my friends, right there is why I enjoy running- I take in the beauty of it, I enjoy the scenery, I feel my body (well learning too), and has odd as it sounds I get out of my head for just a little while. I can just be, happy with myself and my surroundings, proud of my accomplishments. 20 miles, I never thought I could run, but ran it this past weekend without an inch of pain or soreness. I am blessed with a lot--first and foremost a family that I can laugh and cry with at any given moment, who will listen (really listen) and who have never let me down. A significant other- who has a great balance of fun and work... A dog who couldn't be happier to see you, even if you did only leave for 5 minutes. Friends that have gone to great lengths for me, a career that touches the lives of others, that in of itself people have a lot expectations of me....but still I demand more of myself, why??? More and more... I'm never quite there, haven't accomplished enough for myself internally.
The runner's high...I drop those expectations for myself and I can just be..be in the moment. I think of my grandfather, who is in a better place watching over me and guiding me, the mountains, the water, I see the wildlife and I realize that each moment in and of itself holds a special place.
Screw time goals- do I want to do well yes...do I have expectations of myself yes, will I get there yes. Per a conversation with my coach today, my number one priority is the atmosphere, the people and the support that matters most.
In which leads me to this article that a co-worker sent my way today: "The Only Time We Have Together Is Right Now" (http://www.parade.com/health/2010/11/07-only-time-we-have-together. or www.parade.com). A story of a couple that are more aware than most of the importance of living in the present. With one diagnosed with a rare aggressive form of cancer. "They talk about falling in love was easy, but finding time to spend together was not."
So from the words of the bride: "This is ridiculously overwhelming-in a wonderful way." And yes, in many ways this is....LIFE....
Now, if I had gone on that tangent, my coworker probably would have wished he never asked! Go out and enjoy the moment, I know I'm trying to do that more and more often!
Peace and tranquility!
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