As another year is ready to pass and the talk of new beginnings, goals, and resolutions upon us, I reflect of 2010. I don't feel as though I remember much, hopefully it will come to me as I write. I will try to remember a few of the year's milestones:
Turning 29....
Ouch, I dreaded this birthday more than any others. How could time have passed to fast that I nearly have only 1 quick year left before I hit the big 3-0... I struggled with this birthday, however; I think it has made it easier as 30 is approaching. Nothing really changed, I feel the same, maybe even better than I have in a while. I explored new avenues and found new outlets!
Buying a house...
Yep, its official, I've committed. Daniel and I bought a house together this year. Against much discussion on making this commitment on my own, we made the commitment together. A big step for someone who doesn't stay in the same place for more than a few years. Its a great little house, yes little, but suits my style.. Now for the backyard- a sanctuary of relaxation and tranquility this will be the 2011 project to come.
Finishing coursework to be able to sit for my BCBA exam....
peopled laughed in 2009 when I started taking classes again, the running joke being was I ever going to quit being a student- maybe not..maybe so. Heck, I don't know. Nonetheless, I completed my coursework in September with flying colors. I was supposed to sit for my board exam in January but that has been pushed off till April/May. I can't wait to pass that exam in 2011!
Coaching Lacrosse....
awhh this one is bittersweet. In 2009, December to be exact, after months (about 3-4) of deliberation, I took the head coaching position at Cheyenne Mountain again.. I loved it, it was great to be back but how I worked full time, coached part-time, did about 10-15 hours of school work a week, and raced my bike.. I will never know. This all caught up with me this fall (as the time of year it usually does) when I realized how I just couldn't maintain the lifestyle I was living. The girls deserve more, and I deserve more for myself. So in one short year, I resigned again. Their new coach is a friend of mine and will be fabulous! I just know it :) I'm very excited for them to have someone who knows the program, knows the girls and has a love for lacrosse and energy to give them that I just no longer have. I miss the girls a lot but will hopefully get to some of their games. I wish Cheyenne the best in the future :)
Marathon...
this might have been the biggest milestone of them all, well right up there with racing my bike which I'll get to in the next segment. I ran my first marathon this fall, December 5th, Las Vegas in 3:29 and qualified for Boston! I am stoked, although my initial goal had been 3:25, I'll take the 3:29. I'm sure if you've read previous posts, I was attempting to have fun at this race and let go of time goals---well that wasn't exactly realistic. I did have fun and was conservative in the race, but letting go of a time goal was nearly impossible for me. The best thing that happened in this race was that the night before my garmin died..yes dead completely. So, I wore a watch but didn't look at it, this turned out to be the best thing that happened to me. I started very conservative, this was good but in my heart of hearts, I know I have a 3:25 in me!!! I can't wait to someday reach that goal.
Cycling Season...
This too proved to be a success. I got my upgrade at the end of the season to category three. Although I never had a 1st place win, I did have several podium spots in 2nd and 3rd! I gained confidence this year and played around with my racing style. Crits are my thing and putting in good attacks, taking chances and such is probably a strength for me.. So towards the end of the season, thanks to some coaching from my coach, I sat in and worked on making them count. I saw myself really grow as a racer this year. I look forward to next year, which will be a good learning curve for me as I'll get plenty of races with the big girls (category 1, 2s). Tulsa Tough also proved to be a inspiring race as it was a 3/4 race and I took 19th and 11th respectively in fields of 60!!!!
Coaching...
I worked with a couple of different coaches this year (Daniel not being one of them, although he still is a guidance and support for me). I've finally found what I need in a coach which is very exciting. My current coach helped me to a 2nd place finish in the AFA road race (for those that know me this is my best finish in a RR event yet, and the toughest of all races for me) and a 3:29 placing 11th in my age group at Las Vegas marathon with a Boston qualification! What I need in a coach is someone who will have confidence in me, listen to what I am saying and feeling, continue to push me and motivate me!
As for the next 5 days of the year, I hope they prove to be even more outstanding than the last 360! Cheers to 2010.
Now for what I feel needs improvement:
-consistency on the bike through the spring
-balancing life and work and making myself a priority (this is always a challenge for me)
-continuing to push myself to new limits, set new goals, and explore the unknown
-clean up my eating habits (I spent a lot of this year with anxiety, stomach aches, headaches) I believe a big portion of this is stress from work etc. but one way I intend to combat this is to start eating healthier (local & organic) as well as trying a gluten free diet.....
Here are some books that inspired me this year:
Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson
-one man's mission to promote peace....on school at a time
"The End of Overeating"
-about American's food industry...sugar..salt...fat..sugar...fat...salt.... how industry's are creating N. America's unhealthy epidemic.
"If the Buddha Came to Dinner"
-how to nourish your body both nutritionally and spiritually
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
"The sharp knife of a short life" ~The Band Perry
If I die young...
This week has me thinking...what would I regret? What would I want to tell people? What would I have wanted to been? Is it what I am now? .... thoughts...
So what sparked this post- life gets taken from someone too young. We lost a teacher in our district this week, she was 29, she touched several students. I did not personally know her but have heard nothing but wonderful things about her. She touched her students and left a lasting impression- here is a blurb from her principal. On Tuesday, she found out she had a brain tumor, by Thursday, they were keeping her on life support until her mother could get to her side. Her is what came of today:
Kim graduated from the Colorado School of Mines earning a Master’s of Arts Degree in Chemistry. Rather than pursuing opportunities in medical research, she decided to lend her expertise to teaching students, especially middle school students, about the wonders of science. Her passion for teaching was evident from the moment she entered the building. Kim pursued the teaching profession through the alternative licensure teaching program and began an unforgettable, personal journey of learning and teaching. She taught a mere 4 years at Carson Middle School but left a lasting impression on the school’s science program and its students. Her positive and creative approach to instruction inspired her students to explore and challenge themselves. In the short time she taught at Carson, she sponsored many programs for students to introduce and encourage their interest in science. Kim was one of the movers in establishing the science club and science Olympiad program. She initiated trips to the Challenger Space training center, the space museum in Denver and hosted the annual elementary chemistry night to introduce future students to the joy of science. She was a role model for all students but especially for her young girls and promoted their interest by taking a group to the Science, Technology, Engineering and Math conference hosted by the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. Her short career was highlighted by her being selected to participate in the NASA fellowship program and working closely with NASA scientists to explore various concepts in physics and develop specific middle level curriculum for her students.
Kim learned much through trial and error and perseverance but remained positive and always had a smile on her face. She was innovative and loved to utilize all the technology she could, to motivate her students. Kim held high expectations for all of her students and demanded that they meet those expectations. She also was caring and understanding and would work tirelessly to meet the needs of her students. Her high energy approach to instruction and passion for teaching has left a lasting impact on the science program at Carson and the students who were lucky enough to have had her as a teacher.
How remarkable is it that by the age of 29 she had touched so many lives and left a lasting positive impression... How unfair is it that she was taken at 29?
I want to give a little more, I give a lot but I'm not patient all the time. I need to become a better listener. I need to enjoy. There are what I consider two people in life, both neither good nor bad BUT... one perceives things as "they make life happen" the other "life just happens." We have lots to learn from both perceptions. I believe somewhere in the middle is a healthy balance...however, I struggle to find that balance, as I'm a "making life happen" person- I plan, I think, I plan....I DO! On the other hand, the "life happens" peeps let life happen and sit back to enjoy the ride.. its an interesting mix!
But what would I do differently? Life is a precious gift and here is what I have concluded:
1. Call those close to you (friends, family, loved ones) a bit more
2. Laugh a little louder
3. Let things go a bit quicker
4. Work to put a smile on someone's face everyday
Go out and enjoy it, its too short to take for granted, its too short to work away, it goes by to quick to just let it happen, but also too quick to plan for it all. My thoughts and prayers are with Kim's family. Lets all be thankful for the time she had with her students and the lasting impression she left.
This week has me thinking...what would I regret? What would I want to tell people? What would I have wanted to been? Is it what I am now? .... thoughts...
So what sparked this post- life gets taken from someone too young. We lost a teacher in our district this week, she was 29, she touched several students. I did not personally know her but have heard nothing but wonderful things about her. She touched her students and left a lasting impression- here is a blurb from her principal. On Tuesday, she found out she had a brain tumor, by Thursday, they were keeping her on life support until her mother could get to her side. Her is what came of today:
Kim graduated from the Colorado School of Mines earning a Master’s of Arts Degree in Chemistry. Rather than pursuing opportunities in medical research, she decided to lend her expertise to teaching students, especially middle school students, about the wonders of science. Her passion for teaching was evident from the moment she entered the building. Kim pursued the teaching profession through the alternative licensure teaching program and began an unforgettable, personal journey of learning and teaching. She taught a mere 4 years at Carson Middle School but left a lasting impression on the school’s science program and its students. Her positive and creative approach to instruction inspired her students to explore and challenge themselves. In the short time she taught at Carson, she sponsored many programs for students to introduce and encourage their interest in science. Kim was one of the movers in establishing the science club and science Olympiad program. She initiated trips to the Challenger Space training center, the space museum in Denver and hosted the annual elementary chemistry night to introduce future students to the joy of science. She was a role model for all students but especially for her young girls and promoted their interest by taking a group to the Science, Technology, Engineering and Math conference hosted by the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. Her short career was highlighted by her being selected to participate in the NASA fellowship program and working closely with NASA scientists to explore various concepts in physics and develop specific middle level curriculum for her students.
Kim learned much through trial and error and perseverance but remained positive and always had a smile on her face. She was innovative and loved to utilize all the technology she could, to motivate her students. Kim held high expectations for all of her students and demanded that they meet those expectations. She also was caring and understanding and would work tirelessly to meet the needs of her students. Her high energy approach to instruction and passion for teaching has left a lasting impact on the science program at Carson and the students who were lucky enough to have had her as a teacher.
How remarkable is it that by the age of 29 she had touched so many lives and left a lasting positive impression... How unfair is it that she was taken at 29?
I want to give a little more, I give a lot but I'm not patient all the time. I need to become a better listener. I need to enjoy. There are what I consider two people in life, both neither good nor bad BUT... one perceives things as "they make life happen" the other "life just happens." We have lots to learn from both perceptions. I believe somewhere in the middle is a healthy balance...however, I struggle to find that balance, as I'm a "making life happen" person- I plan, I think, I plan....I DO! On the other hand, the "life happens" peeps let life happen and sit back to enjoy the ride.. its an interesting mix!
But what would I do differently? Life is a precious gift and here is what I have concluded:
1. Call those close to you (friends, family, loved ones) a bit more
2. Laugh a little louder
3. Let things go a bit quicker
4. Work to put a smile on someone's face everyday
Go out and enjoy it, its too short to take for granted, its too short to work away, it goes by to quick to just let it happen, but also too quick to plan for it all. My thoughts and prayers are with Kim's family. Lets all be thankful for the time she had with her students and the lasting impression she left.
Monday, November 08, 2010
The Runner's High- Thoughts During 20 Miles
Some 2-3 years ago now, I started this blog and it transpired to a chore that I didn't want nor could keep up with. It was supposed to be about my process, finding my path through life....Today, it is an avenue- I write about the process, finding oneself, and answering questions that aren't easy to answer. Life's lessons, lessons learned, and the ever-changing.
How was this inspired you may wonder? Someone at work asked me the other day "what the heck do you do or think about on a 20 mile jog? That's crazy!" A year ago, I would have said that's crazy because I had lost touch with running and the mere enjoyment of being out there and making your feet move. How did I answer you wonder? Well...I looked at them as if it was a crazy question, but crazy it was far from that. The answer is so much deeper than a simple response- did they have time for that? Did they want to hear that, really? So.... my answer at the time was "heck I don't know." Holy shit..I didn't have an answer- one of my biggest fears! Not having answers scares me, not having a plan or direction makes me nervous and intimidates the hell out of me. Typical people probably don't understand this, nor the stress it creates within me; this is where I figured they didn't want me to go...they really didn't want the real answer. I shrugged again, as if my first answer "heck I don't know" wasn't good enough because they stood there looking at me. Then I thought about 2 seconds later this is what came out "a whole lot of something and much more of nothing. does that make sense?" I guess they were content with that answer as they nodded, shrugged and said "have a great day!"
That question stuck in my head though, I'm a thinker, a deep thinker, I'm passionate about things I'm involved in-sometimes this is good, sometimes this haunts me- but back to the question that I pondered for a few days, okay for a week. How do I explain the runner's high? How do I explain not being in my head? Not sure I've come to the conclusion....maybe...?? Not everything in life has an answer, an explanation, words. Some things are best without those. Holy cow, is this me talking, a person who verbal processes EVERYTHING to the fullest extent possible?! And..that my friends, right there is why I enjoy running- I take in the beauty of it, I enjoy the scenery, I feel my body (well learning too), and has odd as it sounds I get out of my head for just a little while. I can just be, happy with myself and my surroundings, proud of my accomplishments. 20 miles, I never thought I could run, but ran it this past weekend without an inch of pain or soreness. I am blessed with a lot--first and foremost a family that I can laugh and cry with at any given moment, who will listen (really listen) and who have never let me down. A significant other- who has a great balance of fun and work... A dog who couldn't be happier to see you, even if you did only leave for 5 minutes. Friends that have gone to great lengths for me, a career that touches the lives of others, that in of itself people have a lot expectations of me....but still I demand more of myself, why??? More and more... I'm never quite there, haven't accomplished enough for myself internally.
The runner's high...I drop those expectations for myself and I can just be..be in the moment. I think of my grandfather, who is in a better place watching over me and guiding me, the mountains, the water, I see the wildlife and I realize that each moment in and of itself holds a special place.
Screw time goals- do I want to do well yes...do I have expectations of myself yes, will I get there yes. Per a conversation with my coach today, my number one priority is the atmosphere, the people and the support that matters most.
In which leads me to this article that a co-worker sent my way today: "The Only Time We Have Together Is Right Now" (http://www.parade.com/health/2010/11/07-only-time-we-have-together. or www.parade.com). A story of a couple that are more aware than most of the importance of living in the present. With one diagnosed with a rare aggressive form of cancer. "They talk about falling in love was easy, but finding time to spend together was not."
So from the words of the bride: "This is ridiculously overwhelming-in a wonderful way." And yes, in many ways this is....LIFE....
Now, if I had gone on that tangent, my coworker probably would have wished he never asked! Go out and enjoy the moment, I know I'm trying to do that more and more often!
Peace and tranquility!
How was this inspired you may wonder? Someone at work asked me the other day "what the heck do you do or think about on a 20 mile jog? That's crazy!" A year ago, I would have said that's crazy because I had lost touch with running and the mere enjoyment of being out there and making your feet move. How did I answer you wonder? Well...I looked at them as if it was a crazy question, but crazy it was far from that. The answer is so much deeper than a simple response- did they have time for that? Did they want to hear that, really? So.... my answer at the time was "heck I don't know." Holy shit..I didn't have an answer- one of my biggest fears! Not having answers scares me, not having a plan or direction makes me nervous and intimidates the hell out of me. Typical people probably don't understand this, nor the stress it creates within me; this is where I figured they didn't want me to go...they really didn't want the real answer. I shrugged again, as if my first answer "heck I don't know" wasn't good enough because they stood there looking at me. Then I thought about 2 seconds later this is what came out "a whole lot of something and much more of nothing. does that make sense?" I guess they were content with that answer as they nodded, shrugged and said "have a great day!"
That question stuck in my head though, I'm a thinker, a deep thinker, I'm passionate about things I'm involved in-sometimes this is good, sometimes this haunts me- but back to the question that I pondered for a few days, okay for a week. How do I explain the runner's high? How do I explain not being in my head? Not sure I've come to the conclusion....maybe...?? Not everything in life has an answer, an explanation, words. Some things are best without those. Holy cow, is this me talking, a person who verbal processes EVERYTHING to the fullest extent possible?! And..that my friends, right there is why I enjoy running- I take in the beauty of it, I enjoy the scenery, I feel my body (well learning too), and has odd as it sounds I get out of my head for just a little while. I can just be, happy with myself and my surroundings, proud of my accomplishments. 20 miles, I never thought I could run, but ran it this past weekend without an inch of pain or soreness. I am blessed with a lot--first and foremost a family that I can laugh and cry with at any given moment, who will listen (really listen) and who have never let me down. A significant other- who has a great balance of fun and work... A dog who couldn't be happier to see you, even if you did only leave for 5 minutes. Friends that have gone to great lengths for me, a career that touches the lives of others, that in of itself people have a lot expectations of me....but still I demand more of myself, why??? More and more... I'm never quite there, haven't accomplished enough for myself internally.
The runner's high...I drop those expectations for myself and I can just be..be in the moment. I think of my grandfather, who is in a better place watching over me and guiding me, the mountains, the water, I see the wildlife and I realize that each moment in and of itself holds a special place.
Screw time goals- do I want to do well yes...do I have expectations of myself yes, will I get there yes. Per a conversation with my coach today, my number one priority is the atmosphere, the people and the support that matters most.
In which leads me to this article that a co-worker sent my way today: "The Only Time We Have Together Is Right Now" (http://www.parade.com/health/2010/11/07-only-time-we-have-together. or www.parade.com). A story of a couple that are more aware than most of the importance of living in the present. With one diagnosed with a rare aggressive form of cancer. "They talk about falling in love was easy, but finding time to spend together was not."
So from the words of the bride: "This is ridiculously overwhelming-in a wonderful way." And yes, in many ways this is....LIFE....
Now, if I had gone on that tangent, my coworker probably would have wished he never asked! Go out and enjoy the moment, I know I'm trying to do that more and more often!
Peace and tranquility!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Fantastic Summer
Mid-July already?? where does time go?? My advice tonight: Stop wishing it away, it goes by faster than anyone can ever imagine!
Not sure if anyone follows this much anymore. My blogs have become more and more sparse. No crazy trip out of the country this summer. I've been spending time working on my degree, racing, spending time with Daniel. Awwhh it has been nice!
Some important things in life I'm coming to realize as I age....
1. Be content with who you are
2. Reach for the sky...its the limit
3. take time to slow down, I'm not good at this but its a goal for me
4. I don't wanna be 40, which will come much sooner than anticipated, and realize I worked my life away
5. Value friendships, you never know when they may be taken away from you
6. Memories, store them, revisit them often
7. Love, love and love some more
School starts in just about 3 weeks, or less... I can't believe it. I'm setting a goal this year on a couple fronts. One being my own health- I've gotta realize I can help where help is wanted, I can give it my all, then I have to lay it to rest. I'm not eating all that garbage there is in schools either.. i've worked to hard this summer for some clean eating and cleaning my own body out! Love what I do and know why I do it- I need to revisit this more often. Spend more time leaving work on time and coming home and less time staying late at work and missing out on home!!!
A lot is on the horizon for me:
1. finish my BCBA coursework in october
2. Sit for my BCBA board exams
3. finish my cycling season, which has been fun
4. run a marathon
Not sure if anyone follows this much anymore. My blogs have become more and more sparse. No crazy trip out of the country this summer. I've been spending time working on my degree, racing, spending time with Daniel. Awwhh it has been nice!
Some important things in life I'm coming to realize as I age....
1. Be content with who you are
2. Reach for the sky...its the limit
3. take time to slow down, I'm not good at this but its a goal for me
4. I don't wanna be 40, which will come much sooner than anticipated, and realize I worked my life away
5. Value friendships, you never know when they may be taken away from you
6. Memories, store them, revisit them often
7. Love, love and love some more
School starts in just about 3 weeks, or less... I can't believe it. I'm setting a goal this year on a couple fronts. One being my own health- I've gotta realize I can help where help is wanted, I can give it my all, then I have to lay it to rest. I'm not eating all that garbage there is in schools either.. i've worked to hard this summer for some clean eating and cleaning my own body out! Love what I do and know why I do it- I need to revisit this more often. Spend more time leaving work on time and coming home and less time staying late at work and missing out on home!!!
A lot is on the horizon for me:
1. finish my BCBA coursework in october
2. Sit for my BCBA board exams
3. finish my cycling season, which has been fun
4. run a marathon
Friday, April 23, 2010
The Wheels in the Sky Keep on Turning...
w-o-w that is an old song, word!
It's been a long time since I've posted. If you hear what I'm up to you'll know why... gotta lot on my plate right now.. Yes, I'm a fool!
Anyway- on the job front...still in schools. Enjoying my job doing more and more stuff with the little ones with autism and I like that! I'm working on yet another degree.. learning a technology of human action- this is powerful!!! I'm learning a powerful technology that is based in the scientific world view- behavior analysis... now I thought the term "psychologist" was intimidating! ha.
okay onto my hobbies. I've got the first race under my belt this year- Colorado College Crit. Took 2nd, although USAC has me down as a DNF... little confused considering I collected prize money and their is a picture in the paper with me beating a girl at the line.
I've noticed that I don't have my exciting to say... friday night burn out I guess. thats what i'm chalking this up as!
It's been a long time since I've posted. If you hear what I'm up to you'll know why... gotta lot on my plate right now.. Yes, I'm a fool!
Anyway- on the job front...still in schools. Enjoying my job doing more and more stuff with the little ones with autism and I like that! I'm working on yet another degree.. learning a technology of human action- this is powerful!!! I'm learning a powerful technology that is based in the scientific world view- behavior analysis... now I thought the term "psychologist" was intimidating! ha.
okay onto my hobbies. I've got the first race under my belt this year- Colorado College Crit. Took 2nd, although USAC has me down as a DNF... little confused considering I collected prize money and their is a picture in the paper with me beating a girl at the line.
I've noticed that I don't have my exciting to say... friday night burn out I guess. thats what i'm chalking this up as!
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