Just out to find the better part of me ~Five For Fighting

I haven't really blogged in a long time, but my mind has though of plenty to write. I just can't seem to find the time to sit down at the computer and make it happen. When I do sit down, its like a blank slate; I feel so uncreative. Most of my ideas come to me when I'm running or walking the dog.

Maybe its a mid-life crisis (does that happen this early?) but I've just been freaking out lately. I don't like the things that define me, I'm not who I want to be, who I used to be. Work consumes me....Fall is my most favorite time of year but its my most stressful for some reason the last 3 years. I manage it by working out and even that this year is falling off the scale and is, at best, inconsistent.

I'm ready for something new, some new challenge, new experiences, new something. I can't figure out, if this is just what it is. I dare to think not, it can't just be this way. Life is just happening right now, I don't feel free. I feel stuck in the norm. In a world where health is at its worse, jobs define who people are and leave little satisfaction.

Don't get me wrong, nothing is "that bad." A lot of things are great, but its just not what I expected. I miss being full of life, energy, and emotion. I have this hard time conforming to the norm, but I've become the norm.. Wake, work (maybe eat breakfast as you drive there), work some more, come home to exhausted to have much left for my dog, my fiance, let alone myself. Something has to change, something has to give.

I try to learn tips from my dog:
1. wag your tail no matter what- be excited when your loved ones walk through the door EVERY TIME, no matter if it was just two minutes ago when they left.
2. Life's just to short not to enjoy it, not to do it for yourself
3. play and enjoy it, run to run
4. give kisses, lots of them


I am sure he has many other lessons to send. Maybe I'll update the tips! Would it be bad if I became a coffee barista?

Day 1: 100 Days of Real Food

By the next 99 days I'm hoping this is a lifestyle after the way I feel today!! so fighting off the urge all day to eat sugar paid off. I had a stare down contest with the candy corn (which I don't even like) sitting on the bookshelf in my office. I walked into the classroom that I typically munch from (I know right where the goodie cabinet is) and I had to walk right out of the room, but I walked out.

By 3pm, usually when I am sinking and searching for sugar, I was full of energy today. AT my client's house at 5pm, I was feeling yet even better and oh so ready to come home to a nice home cooked meal! If I continue on this route I'm going to be feeling great.

Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of internal monologues with myself. Almost a fight going on inside my head...."eat the candy, no one will know." "Don't eat the candy. It's not real food, not good for you and makes you feel like crap."

Here was what I felt great off of today:
breakfast- one egg w/ swiss cheese
lunch- spinach salad w/ orange pepper, onion & Annie's Lemon & Chive salad dressing
Snack- medium gala apple (3pm)
Snack- handful of almonds (4:30pm)
Dinner- green tea salmon with a hefty salad (spinach, romaine, avocado, onion & carrot)
Dessert- spelt pretzels (I swear only 5 ingredients--no sugar, no white flour, and I could pronounce all the words) & 1 gluten free organic ginger cookie (4 ingredients none of which were sugar or white flour)!

Goal tomorrow- increase water intake and keep on feeling good..

This will keep me going: